Full of ... by-the-numbers, bourgeois advice and steady-Eddie Waspish evaluations, this site is a must for those writing church bulletins and PTA handouts. But wait, there's more! You will, after studying this blog, be able to reduce any book's (Atlas Shrugged, War And Peace, A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu) word count as well as impress publishers with your ability to diagram sentences. And, just like NBA players, you'll learn to dribble using either hand.
After scanning though a number of posts, I'm feeling the compulsion ... I too must make a list ... for the soap opera ... “How To Be A Writer”.
- Read and re-read romance novels and transcripts from earthy TV shows (Cops).
- Devour Dora the Explorer, airline magazines and botanical garden brochures.
- Tsk, tsk with a head waggle whenever Hemingway or Sylvia Plath are mentioned.
- Buy and use the latest edition of “Adjectives, Metaphors and Jim Dandy Homilies”.
- Pay close attention to warning labels on drawer pulls, hammers and nut crackers.
- At your desk, keep three No. 2 pencils, a yellow highlighter and several day planners.
- Be writer hip, have an empty Johnny Walker bottle and a stuffed owl on your desk.
- Spy on your neighbors, their pets and the mail carrier ... sooner or later a story will show up.
- Need a quote? There’s always daddy and granny (but only during visiting hours).
- Self-publish all the comments in your high school year book. Now you’re an author.
- Self-publish an exposé about ATMs and germs. Now you’re a multi-published author.
- e-publish poetry you wrote while in 7th grade. Gush about yourself. Now you’re arrived.
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